And no, this post has nothing to do with sex, or even thinking about sex, although it would probaby be a lot more fun to read, and write, if it were!
Unfortunately, sex is the furthest thing from my mind. So is story-telling. I haven’t written a word of fiction in at least a month. Instead I’ve been writing an awful lot about technical things, and learning outcomes, and range statements, and training package rules and units of competency….
Ahem, you get the picture. What you may not know is that when I start to panic about deadlines, my focus becomes so narrow it excludes just about everything else. Except food. I never forget to eat. 🙂 I do however forget to shower for days [okay, too much information], and apparently I forget to pay bills. 😦
I was knee deep in my most recent assignment this morning when I received a phone call from Origin Energy [my utilities supplier for gas and electricy]. On the other end of the line was an officious sounding young man with a decidedly non-Australian lilt to his voice.
Did I know that my gas account was overdue? And that I was in danger of disconnection?
Oops, no. The gas bill, along with all my others bills, was buried under half a foot of printouts, scrap paper and handouts. Could it really have been so long since that bill arrived? Surely they would have sent me a reminder before the ‘pay or else’ phone call?
Oops, again. The reminder was also in the pile. Oh dear.
I’m never blatantly rude on the phone, but I admit I was less than gracious this morning because, despite the possibility of disconnection, my mind was still on the assignment I was writing. And that is really weird because I am not enjoying myself at the moment. I love the other students in my class, and I have a great respect for the trainer, but I’m starting to worry that I’ll never fit the system.
That fear was brought home to me during the class yesterday. I was sitting in as one of the ‘learners’ for the other students who were doing their 60 presentations [mine is next week]. The second last presentation was on something called ‘Behavioural Interviews’. Apparently these days employers use these behavioural questions to gauge a potential employee’s suitability for the job.
In a nut shell, behavioural interview questions assume that the way you handled situations in the past will be a good indication of how you will handle them in the future. So employers ask questions like ‘Give an example of how you worked on a team’, or, ‘Have you disagreed with someone at work and how did you handle it?’.
As part of the ‘class’ discussion, we were asked to answer those questions in such a way that we would look like good employee material.
And that’s when I panicked.
Okay, just the thought of having to face a job interview would have been enough to make me panic a bit, but what really threw me was the realisation that I haven’t worked in a ‘team’ for close to 30 years! Hot on the heels that that scary thought was another one – clearly I would have to bullshit something, but how was I supposed to do that when I’ve never been able to lie – not even little white fibs?
You may think I’m being silly, but people online can’t see me blush bright red at anything less than 100% truth. So how does someone like me get a job when I’m unlikely to be able to jump the hurdle of an interview?
Don’t get me wrong, I did know I’d have to go to interviews, but my mind did that ‘Don’t worry, that’s all still a long way off’ thing. Hah, obviously my brain has no trouble lying to me…
Anyway, I’ve strayed quite a way from assignments and utility bills. You’ll be pleased to know I finished that assignment, and I’m all prepared for my presentation next week, so for a few days at least I’m all caught up. I’ve also paid ALL my bills and there’s now an empty space on my desk, so for now all I have to worry about is the prospect of interviews to come.
Advice, pep talks, and chocolate all gratefully received. 😦