I just unfollowed someone :(

So what’s the big deal? The big deal is that I don’t think I’ve ever unfollowed anyone on WordPress before, certainly not in anger.

I don’t ‘Follow’ people lightly. I visit their blogs a number of times, lurk and read, sometimes comment and like, and generally ‘vet’ them before I decide to follow. So unfollowing someone I used to like, or at least thought I liked, is a bit like a marriage break up but without the custody battle over kids and property. It’s not…pleasant.

I don’t intend to tell you who I unfollowed, or precisely why, but I will say it’s because I believe the common good should trump personal likes and dislikes. The ONLY reason human beings have taken over this planet and remade it in our own image is that we are capable of making small personal sacrifices so that all of us benefit.

It’s not altruism, exactly. Rather, it’s enlightened self-preservation, a bit like the law against theft. Giving up the right to steal from our neighbour means that our neighbour does not have the right to steal from us either. Furthermore, the enforcement of that prohibition protects us all.

I’ve long believed that society can only function properly when there is a delicate balance between the needs of the individual and the needs of society as a whole. Without society, individuals would be at the mercy of a world where every predator has sharper teeth and longer claws than us. Without individuals, society would stagnate because individuals are the ones who push the envelope…for good or ill.

Finding the balance, especially at this dangerous time, will depend on compromise as never before. Sometimes, that compromise means choosing the lesser of two evils. Sometimes, that compromise requires that we set aside our own personal, individual peeves in favour of doing something for the greater good.

I know that what I consider the greater good may not be what someone else considers to be the greater good. But I can only make decisions based on how I see the world.

The way I see the world made me unfollow someone today. For the first and last time, I hope. 😦

Meeks

About acflory

I am the kind of person who always has to know why things are the way they are so my interests range from genetics and biology to politics and what makes people tick. For fun I play online mmorpgs, read, listen to a music, dance when I get the chance and landscape my rather large block. Work is writing. When a story I am working on is going well I'm on cloud nine. On bad days I go out and dig big holes... View all posts by acflory

53 responses to “I just unfollowed someone :(

  • HonieBriggs

    I had to check to be sure it wasn’t me. Whew! 78 clicks into my follower list, there you are. If I ever write something that offends you, I hope you will make a comment to set me straight and give me a chance to explain.

    Liked by 1 person

  • Alicia Butcher Ehrhardt

    You simply cannot allow garbage into your inbox any more than you can allow it onto your plate.

    I started unfollowing, blocking completely, or pausing content from several people in my life when I realized that I was dreading hearing what they were going to say – or already knew it was going to make me sick to my stomach.

    It puts me in the position of preaching to the choir in certain areas, but I just can’t take on the world right now, when I’m barely getting through MY days, and the ones I’m talking about are not interested in reason right now, anyway.

    Some I mourn. Another recent one I checked to make sure it wasn’t premature senility or something medical. But most are revealing, under stress, who they really are – and I don’t like them, can’t see how they’d fit in a post-45, post-pandemic world, and THEY refused to keep it civil.

    Because disagreement has turned uncivil.

    I cannot be guilted into changing my principles. I CAN be guilted into not listening to those who would try.

    Liked by 1 person

    • acflory

      Good for you. To misquote something or other, ‘the battle lines are drawn’ and none of us can sit on the fence any more. I’m all for tolerance, and I do try to see the other point of view because empathy is what holds any society together. But… some things just won’t pass, not any more.

      Like

      • Alicia Butcher Ehrhardt

        It didn’t happen on our watch, but it FESTERED on our watch.

        Life is complicated – and then I got sick, which made it near impossible, especially with three little ones, and us worrying about putting them through college, and not being a burden on them in our old age.

        I can’t tell you how many things we didn’t spend on because of one or the other. I wish I had visited your fascinating country – I’m not sure I can take it now.

        I had so many plans for ‘later.’

        But we’ve always known some people had it much worse than we did, but we hoped governments were doing their job – and leveling the playing field.

        And they weren’t.

        Like

        • acflory

          Yes. The brave new world that was supposed to follow flower power fizzled while we were raising kids. Now we’re being blamed for allowing it to happen. Looking back I can’t pick a moment and say ‘there, that was the turning point, that was when the great hope started turning sour’.

          I just hope that post pandemic, things will change for the better.

          Like

          • Alicia Butcher Ehrhardt

            I voted the right way, every time. It hasn’t been enough. Evil is easy. Doing good is HARD.

            Liked by 1 person

          • acflory

            -sigh- me too, and yes it is. A part of me is still reeling from the 2018 election result. Like your 2016 one, it was /not/ expected, and we didn’t even have the excuse that people didn’t vote. We /have/ to vote. It’s compulsory. These are the times when ‘majority rule’ comes in conflict with my sense of right and wrong. As someone famous once said – democracy is a bad form of government but it’s better than all the others. Mostly.

            Like

          • Alicia Butcher Ehrhardt

            The UK was the same; I sensed that Corbyn was a decent guy, but some people were determined to Brexit, and that was their single issue.

            I hope we have a better one in November.

            Liked by 1 person

          • acflory

            That was my impression too. Fingers crossed for November. Such a lot is riding on this election.

            Like

  • MELewis

    I like the idea of ‘enlightened self-preservation’. It is why the golden rule makes sense for everyone, regardless of other beliefs. I’m not surprised to learn that you follow with intention and unfollow only rarely: your mindfulness shines through here! 🀩

    Liked by 1 person

  • daleleelife101.blog

    Meeks you are one of the most thought-full and fair people I know. To thy own self be true. Life’s too short and too busy to process stuff that isn’t going to nourish us in some way. I follow generously but selectively and if the blog disappoints me, practically I unfollow.

    Liked by 1 person

  • bettylouise31

    I agree with your thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

  • roughwighting

    Despite the unfollowing, you are so thoughtful about it! And you make us all think about the good of society. So, kudos to you! πŸ‘

    Liked by 1 person

    • acflory

      -blush- Awww….thank you. I was actually feeling like a rather bad person. At 67 courtesy was drilled into me and it takes an effort of will to overcome the old thing about ‘if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all’.
      Isn’t it odd how some things are so deeply conditioned that you just can’t let go of them?

      Liked by 1 person

      • roughwighting

        But I think it’s a good motto to live by. I’m the same way in reviewing books. If I really don’t like it, I don’t review it! But…if someone is acting/talking/writing the opposite of my beliefs, I don’t listen, and if they’re on my list, I unfollow. That’s not rude. It’s honest.

        Liked by 1 person

        • acflory

          You’re right, and in the real world I’d just turn away. I guess I’m just not used to having to do that /here/.

          Alicia said something interesting that may be relevant. She basically said that this current situation is stripping away the niceties to reveal the core that people often keep hidden. I wonder if that’s part of it. The veneer is being stripped away?

          Like

  • Candy Korman

    Your reasoning is valid and interesting. I’ve done my share of un-following on Twitter, but I can’t recall a blogger I’ve blocked or removed. For me, it’s been repeated, mean/negative/destructive posts that go beyond opinions and toward incitement OR abuse. There’s a lot of that on Twitter. Gladly, not so much on the blogs I follow and definitely not your yours!

    Liked by 2 people

    • acflory

      Ditto, Candy. I’ve grown so used to being surrounded by a truly caring, clear sighted community that it comes as a shock when I realise that not everyone is like that.
      lol on Twitter all bets are off. I’ve grown something of a thicker hide since spending ‘quality’ time on Twitter. πŸ˜€

      Like

  • D. Wallace Peach

    I’ve unfollowed lots of blogs, Andrea, for a variety of reasons. For me, blogging is about fun, relationships, kindness, inspiration, beauty, and learning. If I’m not getting one or more of those… well, the blogger and I probably aren’t connecting anyway. I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to stick to our values. ❀ ❀

    Liked by 2 people

  • The Pink Agendist

    Was it me? Just because I want to be Emperor of the world?

    Liked by 1 person

  • Hugh W. Roberts

    Over the seven years I have blogged, I’ve unfollowed a lot of blogs, mainly because they either stop publishing content, or they stopped posting content that interests me.

    I much rather spend time reading what interests me, especially if it sparks comments that start a good conversation or debate. Comments that engage are the best ones because they show the author how much readers have enjoyed their post.

    I can confirm that WordPress does not send out any notifications of who has unfollowed a blog. But that should never matter. I’ve lost hundreds of followers over the years, yet I carry on blogging because I enjoy it, and people seem to like most of what I write and publish.

    Liked by 1 person

  • DawnGillDesigns

    I don’t think it’s like Twitter where you are informed when you are blocked or un-followed. Or indeed business FB, which proudly states how many followers I have, which fluctuates because I don’t play that ‘follow me so I can follow you’ game. And high five, you are a fully grown adult and you should be in charge of who you allow into your front room πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  • robertawrites235681907

    I’m sorry, Meeks. I have unfollowed the odd person when the nature of their posts changes or if they are very politicalised. I blog to learn and also for relaxation. I enjoy reading a discussion on topical issues but not endless rants, even if the subject of the rant is rather deserving.

    Liked by 1 person

  • CarolCooks2

    I agree that they probably don’t know you have unfollowed them but sometimes we just feel like you did that it is the right thing for you to do … it is good you have the courage of your own convictions as the saying goes Be well and stay safe πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  • Neil Rickert

    I mostly read blogs with an RSS reader instead of a wordpress follow. That’s because the follow gives lots of email, and the RSS reader is easier to manage.

    I doubt that most people would notice that you stopped following, unless you make a public fuss over it.

    WordPress tells me when somebody follows my blog. But I don’t recall it ever telling me that somebody unfollowed. So I think it is mostly between you and your email box.

    Liked by 1 person

    • acflory

      Do you know, I’ve never known exactly what the RSS reader is, or how to use it? I know it’s there coz I’ve seen it but the email notifications are just so intuitive it’s never occurred to me to dig deeper. They do clog up my inbox though. Hmm…I might take a look at this RSS beast. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

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