At 65, I have no intention of shuffling off to an aged-care facility any time soon, but the mere threat of ending my days in one makes me shiver. You see, I’ve visited a few, and even the best are waiting rooms for the last train.
Here in Australia, in-home care is becoming a buzz word, but even if the idea gets the funding it needs and actually takes off, it won’t solve the problem of loneliness. And it won’t solve the problem of the frail, not-so-very-old who need the kind of care that only a nursing home can provide.
I was chatting with online friend, Sue Vincent, about the prospect of robots being used in aged care when Sue pointed me to this link:
The article opened my eyes to research that’s being done into how best to combine care for the bookend generations – i.e. the very young and the very old.
This is the bit that did it for me:
‘After we filmed our documentary, one lady who attended the care facility told me that you don’t think about your age when you are in the company of young children. The little ones brought a new sense of vibrancy and fun to the centre, and the focus was no longer on watching time pass but on living in the moment.’ [emphasis is mine].
Not every older person is going to want to have direct contact with young children – all mothers know how tiring toddlers can be – but there are so many other things an older person could do behind the scenes to make together-time fun.
I know because I do some of this behind the scenes stuff at one of the community houses at which I volunteer. They have a small day care centre run by dedicated staff who never have enough hours in the day to prepare all the little things needed for the childrens’ activities. I’ve made countless lumps of playdoh, cut out pictures, squeezed easter eggs into tiny knitted ‘chickens’ [created by yet more volunteers], wrapped Christmas presents, helped with fund-raising raffles…the list goes on and on.
My point is that helping behind the scenes, at one’s own pace, can be just as satisfying as doing one-on-one with the kids themselves. Why? Because it gives older people a sense of purpose, a reason to ‘get up in the morning’.
In my humble opinion, having a sense of purpose is what we all need to ‘live in the moment’.
-hugs-
Meeks
May 17th, 2018 at 7:34 am
Combining the old and the young works so well! There are a plethora of homes for the elderly in the U.S. I sing in a choir that performs in many that exist in our area. Only one that I am aware of has inter-generational care, which I believe benefits both sides of the age spectrum.
I hope that when my time comes, one of my children won’t mind taking in their quirky old mom. But if that is not to be, I’d be happier with inter-generational, or maybe a pool boy, lol.
LikeLike
May 17th, 2018 at 8:02 am
-giggles- Oh! I hadn’t thought of the pool boy. I wouldn’t mind one of those myself. :D:D
LikeLike
May 16th, 2018 at 9:21 pm
I love this idea! It would be so good for both generations. My Little ones would benefit from the attention and experience, and maybe they’d enjoy my kids antics. Win/ win.
LikeLike
May 17th, 2018 at 8:04 am
Absolutely. I think that little kids have no fear of age or the aged. They just respond to affection and attention, which is exactly what the elderly respond to as well. I’m crossing my fingers and toes on this one.
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 16th, 2018 at 5:59 pm
My sense of purpose (that Sue mentioned in her comment) comes from helping authors, writers and poets, behind the scenes, at my own pace.
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 17th, 2018 at 8:06 am
-grin- Oh tosh, you’re a young whipper snapper! But yes, the work you do in connecting people is the glue that keeps social media alive and well. -hugs-
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 16th, 2018 at 3:55 pm
“having a sense of purpose is what we all need to ‘live in the moment’.” There is research to support this too… it impacts on both physical and mental health and happiness.
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 17th, 2018 at 8:13 am
Yes, it makes perfect sense to me. Back in the day, my Dad and I went back to Hungary to visit my grandmother as she was 92 and fading fast.
When we arrived she was barely able to get around and was ‘vague’ to put it kindly. When she finally realised that the strangers in her apartment were her son and granddaughter, it was as if she came alive again. And you know the first thing she did? She got up and started cooking for us.
I get a bit teary even now when I think of how much she changed. When she did die, about a year later, it was gently in her sleep.
LikeLike
May 17th, 2018 at 8:15 am
That’s a lovely story..and a lovely memory to have.
Cooking for her loved ones would be part of her identity… your visit gave her that back. And that is a lovely gift too.
LikeLike
May 17th, 2018 at 8:36 am
Yeah. Believe it or not, that was 35 years ago, yet I can still see her as clear as day. She was teaching me about old age and dignity and life just by being herself.
LikeLike
May 17th, 2018 at 8:41 am
I know how that works. My great grandmother lived until she was just short of her century… my own sons were lucky enough to know her too.
LikeLike
May 17th, 2018 at 11:07 am
I hope we’re not the last generation to know how important those grand and great parents are. 🙂
LikeLike
May 17th, 2018 at 2:43 pm
Yes, so do I. We have a choice now, I feel, in how we go forward.
LikeLike
May 17th, 2018 at 8:34 pm
I hope so coz I ain’t gettin’ no younger. 😀
LikeLike
May 16th, 2018 at 1:28 pm
When I was a lot younger and perhaps just starting out on my Care Home phase it was dream of mine to have an old people’s home with a children’s home next door but connected. I was sure that the kids would benefit from the loving a grandparent figure could offer and the ‘oldies’ would benefit from being better occupied that staring at the carpet all day.
I was obviously before my time.
xxx Massive Hugs xxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 17th, 2018 at 8:17 am
-grin- I think you were a tad premature there David. But at least Ruben and Amelie are giving you lots of practice now. 😀
LikeLike
May 16th, 2018 at 10:42 am
I love that concept–both helping out in the day cares directly and helping out behind the scenes. Makes great sense for all involved.
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 17th, 2018 at 8:19 am
Win-win, right? 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 16th, 2018 at 10:26 am
My late mother was adamant about having friends of all ages. I know that younger friends are not a solution to all the problems associated with being old and feeling lonely, but it did help her a great deal. Until the last few months of her life when she was in in-home hospice care, she had a social life that included teaching a young neighbor to play bridge, attending movies with one of my friends, going to museums & the theater with me and/or other younger people, membership on her condo board (holding all the interviews for new apartment owners), dinners with friends in their 40s, 50s & 60s, etc. or taking my cousin’s son out to lunch when he was getting his doctorate in Princeton. Most of her contact with her contemporaries (mid-to-late 80s) was confined to the phone & email. Too many old friends moved away and most were unable to travel back to New York. At one point, we hired a college student to take mom out to do errands and go to lunch. She always seemed to be teaching someone how to knit. Nothing like being an authority with decades of experience!
I hope that organized programs, bringing generations together. It educates the young, teaches compassion, and helps people cope with being alone. But the ad hoc arrangements made by neighbors & friends is also good. We should stop thinking about contemporaries as our only friends!
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 17th, 2018 at 8:30 am
Such a good point, Candy. From what you’ve said, your mother lived life to the full for as long as possible.
My Dad was like that too. Until the last year or so of his life, he caught a bus into the city every day to ‘busk’ with his violin. I was amazed at how large his circle of younger friends really was.
I don’t know how successful Dad was, but he was /happy/. Once he could no longer play, it was a struggle to get him up out of bed every day. If there had been some kind of childcare system nearby he could have visited to play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star for the kids. He loved that.
LikeLike
May 16th, 2018 at 10:23 am
This is great! Thanks for sharing it, AC!
LikeLike
May 17th, 2018 at 8:31 am
-hugs- Welcome. 🙂
LikeLike
May 16th, 2018 at 10:19 am
I so agree with you! Locking our elders away ‘out of sight’ is a terrible social experiment; they have so much to contribute, in unique ways. What a waste of human resources
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 17th, 2018 at 8:32 am
Yes! I understand why it happens, but I think we have to recognize that’s it /is/ a waste and that there are better ways of living with the elderly.
LikeLiked by 1 person