How love rewires the brain and changes who we are

I just watched this video expecting to see, and hear, a lot of psycho babble. Instead, I found myself nodding like crazy, almost the whole way through. The only part that touched a nerve, if I can put it that way, was when Thomas Lewis, one of the authors, talked about the negative aspects of relating to people online. He wasn’t talking about online dating, but rather about what we, internet addicts, like to call our online friendships.

It’s quite a long interview so I recommend making a cup of tea or coffee before you begin, but it is definitely worth watching if you have any interest in what makes all of us tick.

About acflory

I am the kind of person who always has to know why things are the way they are so my interests range from genetics and biology to politics and what makes people tick. For fun I play online mmorpgs, read, listen to a music, dance when I get the chance and landscape my rather large block. Work is writing. When a story I am working on is going well I'm on cloud nine. On bad days I go out and dig big holes... View all posts by acflory

8 responses to “How love rewires the brain and changes who we are

  • lorddavidprosser

    The Monkey see-Monkey do actions can get a parent a bad press often justifiably, but we should remember that it’s something children learn from their peres too. A perfectly respectable and loving household can still produce the horror of a thieving, lying, disrespectful drug addict because they copied the wrong thing. Having said that, if you argue all the time and are violent towards a partner, children are likely to become more withdrawn and won’t easily see examples that show it’s not the norm. They’ll therefore think of it in those terms and copy. Television can play a good part here in showing normality and a child will determine not to do the same to their own child. The child’s decision to act or not to act very much depends on them and perhaps interaction with other family.
    In my long winded way I’m saying, parents are not always at fault.


    • acflory

      Oh I agree David! What was that old saying about how it takes a village to raise a child? So although parents are the first role models for a child, the rest of the family, friends of the family, the community, and of course the kids’ own friends, also play a huge part in forming these attitudes.

      But let’s not forget that adults tend to seek out other adults with similar views to themselves so it can become a vicious circle.


    • metan

      You are right. The best parents can have the worst kids, and the worst parents can have the best kids.


  • metan

    I haven’t watched the video yet (no time!) but the article was fascinating.

    Human unhappiness (what he calls limbic pain) is the root cause of so many of the worlds evils yet we treat the evils as the problem, not as a symptom. 😦


    • acflory

      I agree. 😦 It really did change my perception of quite a lot of things. There’s a bit in the interview where he talks about how we learn about relationships from our parents at an unconscious level. Made me wonder what lessons the Daughter has learned. 😦


      • metan

        I absolutely believe that kids learn how to treat other people, and their future partners, from the example they see at home. If all you do is shout and grouch at your partner and your kids they are going to think that is how to deal with the world.

        I see schoolchildren all the time who are acting out intolerant and mean behaviours, and after meeting their parent can see that they must have picked up at home. 😦


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