Bushfire season 2011/12 is over

I hope I haven’t jinxed myself but I honestly can’t see how a fire could hit Warrandyte now – the air is crisp and cool, the grass is a vibrant green and you can almost smell autumn in the air…oh wait, that could be alpaca poop.

For those who don’t know, alpacas almost always poop in nice, discrete piles, as if they invented the idea of latrines. This highly civilized way of defecating means that you can walk around outside without having to wear gumboots all the time. Unfortunately it also means that the smell is rather concentrated. There is a pile of poop about 10 metres from my office window so when we have a  north wind blowing I have to seal the office off. Nonetheless I’m  not complaining. How could I when the alpacas have manicured the grass so nicely?

I have about 1/2 an acre out the back and at the moment it is as well cared for as a putting green! Except for the piles of poop of course; they look like small green volcanoes with a black caldera in the middle. The black part is the poop while the green part is the well fertilized grass around the poop. Not surprisingly the alpacas won’t eat the grass that’s too close to their piles. Can’t say I blame them but the green volcanoes do look a little odd.

Alpaca volcanoes aside though I am pleased to say that the alpaca experiment has been a qualified success. They have done a very good job of keeping the grass down directly around the house and their clawed toes are much kinder to the soil than other introduced grazers such as cattle or sheep. The one downside in using them as part of my fire prevention strategy is that they will only eat the native grasses when there is nothing else to munch on. This was partly my fault as I sowed some special alpaca feed* in the flat spots around the house during the last winter of the big drought. These grasses stay green even when the rest of the grass has gone your typical summer brown but with all the rain we’ve had the last couple of years the alpacas have been spoiled for choice and have ignored the brown stuff with disdain. Even so they have kept the area around the house well mowed and that is all I can ask for now. Come winter I am going to try and extend their pasture further downhill. If it doesn’t take because of the steepness of the slope I’ll have to think about putting in a bit more terracing [gah…more work].

So having alpacas is not a magic bullet but they are better than mowing by hand or, as seems to happen a lot in Warrandyte, not mowing at all. I know that everyone is busy and I know that many of the people in Warrandyte are new to the area but removing fuel load is part and parcel of living here. It is NOT an optional extra.

I know it’s not feasible but I’d love to see herds of alpacas wandering along Brogil  creek and keeping us all safe. They might be a bit of a traffic hazard but at least they’d do a better job of reducing the fuel load than Nillumbik Shire.

Yes, I know I’m a grumpy old ratepayer but you’d think that at $656 per quarter our local council could do something a little more practical than  telling us to clear out our gutters. Every time I receive one of their expensive newletters full of hot air and self congratulations I wonder how a shire that let, nay caused so many people to die on Black Saturday can escape all accountability.


I truly do wish that being elected to local council was like being chosen for jury duty – an unpleasant civic responsibility that no-one in their right mind would want to do. Then at least we might get some local government that was truly unbiased, a-political and not driven by ambition or self-interest. Come to think of it that could work at state and federal levels too…

Back to reality. Alpacas are herd animals and need the companionship of two or more of their kind or they get a bit psychotic – much like people in solitary confinement – so having just one is not a good idea. One way around this problem is to join together with your neighbours in owning and caring for them. I am one of a group of three neighbours and our four alpacas keep a total of about 2.5 acres mowed. To make things easier we invested in side gates that link our three properties. We all get on really well and that helps too.

The bottom line though is that Warrandyte is a fire prone area so if you live here then you must find some way of keeping the fuel load down on your own property. The danger may be past for this season but it will return and when the next fire does come through we will all be on our own so it makes sense to do what we can now.

If you don’t believe me do the math : there are three CFA fire stations dotted around Warrandyte, North Warrandyte and Research. As far as I know each of those fire stations has 2 fire trucks. That makes 6 in all yet even if there were twice that many they would not be enough to protect the 7393 people living in Warrandyte [2006 census figure].  So yes, the reality is that when the next bushfire sweeps through Warrandyte we will be on our own so doing things to help ourselves should be as much a part of the culture as enjoying the ‘serenity’ of living among the gum trees.

And with that homage to The Castle,  I’m going to go out amongst my own gum trees to shovel some alpaca poop. At least it makes good compost.

* Note : ordinary lawn seed is NOT good for alpacas as it can make them bloat which is serious!

About acflory

I am the kind of person who always has to know why things are the way they are so my interests range from genetics and biology to politics and what makes people tick. For fun I play online mmorpgs, read, listen to a music, dance when I get the chance and landscape my rather large block. Work is writing. When a story I am working on is going well I'm on cloud nine. On bad days I go out and dig big holes... View all posts by acflory

6 responses to “Bushfire season 2011/12 is over

  • metan

    Alpaca mowers, good thinking! I too hate it when we are the only ones bothering to mow. After Black Saturday it is a little scary too. If everyone banded together and got on top of it the risk would be reduced but it seems that ‘not mowing’ is catching!

    The people next door moved in about a year ago from the city. Since they arrived the block has been let go and it drives me mad!! Their excuse seems to be that they are scared of hurting a lizard or other ground dweller. We always mow and I know the wildlife has enough brains to get out of the way! Like you I believe that part of the living in the bush deal is to be responsible too.

    (They don’t have kids but I do and snakes don’t care about fencelines. I am just hoping for the day one slides into their loungeroom. 😉 )

    Thanks for the mental picture of a lawn dotted with green poo-canoes!


    • acflory

      Thank you!!!!! I know people have looked at this post but you are literally the first aussie to comment, especially on the very real danger we face every summer. Sometimes I feel as if I’m the only paranoid person in Australia. Well…in Warrandyte at any rate 😀


      • metan

        I feel the same way at times! We live in the Yarra Valley and during the weeks of the Black Saturday fires they were far too close for comfort, with local fires being put out daily.

        The man of the house told me I was being paranoid when I told him to take the camper trailer to his mums house down the line but days later we were off, evacuated along with the rest of the neighbourhood, we lived in her driveway until the rain came!

        Warrandyte is much like the Valley, one road in or out and if it all goes pear shaped…eeek! It will be you and me standing in the road shouting ‘you did this!!’ at all the non-mowers stuck in traffic. 😉


        • acflory

          ‘Warrandyte is much like the Valley, one road in or out and if it all goes pear shaped…eeek! It will be you and me standing in the road shouting ‘you did this!!’ at all the non-mowers stuck in traffic’

          lmao – remind me to buy a megaphone tomorrow. Seriously though, I guess 3 months of anxiety ever year is a smallish price to pay for living in places this lovely. At least we’re not blind to the risk.

          cheers 🙂


  • acflory

    -giggles- ’twas meant to be a serious treatise on bushfire management 😉 Glad you liked it.


  • Candy

    Thank you so much for your vivid picture of life on the other side of the world! Alpaca poop! I love it.


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